ALAN BUCKNELL REPORTS FROM THE NEC, ASDA AND THE HINTERLAND OF WARWICKSHIRE

It all started off in the distant past, the theme for the NEC 2004 being “Not Just Black and Green” (or Green and Black, whichever way you look at it). Hence the mix of Land Rovers that found their way to the NEC towards the end of October for the Classic Car Show 2004. These Land Rovers included Eddie Johnson’s mine-protected SIII 109 in sand and green, my own SAS Long Range Desert Group Land Rover in a nice shade of pink, Richard Caney’s RAF Police 90 in gloss green with a red stripe and blue light, and last but by no means least, John Butcher’s black and green FFR101. All in all a very interesting and colourful display. We all seemed to have some trauma getting to the NEC for out time slot. Broken trailer linkage (Alan), motorway hold-ups (Eddie), how far will a 101 go when the fuel gauge is down on the red (John). Then the gate pass and actually getting in. The setting up of the stand, a cheerful event with banter between us and the Jaguar stand (what is MAR? Answers on a postcard) with the stand all set up it looked good. BUT WHO GOT LOST WHERE?

Once we had finished at the NEC it was time to get the admin sorted, so off to Asda. Picture this: five EMLRA Members going shopping, have you been to a large Asda with five (grown) men? Enough said. Everyone had their orders - Alan: Breakfast and Bread, John: Eggs, Mike: Meat, Eddie and Richard: Drinks… something like that …. to your duties, fall out! First stop Atkins Diet Chocolate Stall with the young lady’s stock of chocolate being quickly consumed by the gang of five. Mike Allmey (OC Party) gave orders to move into shopping raids – lost, well… no RV was given so we knew where we were, but not where everyone else was. With good military training, I look for the beer shelves. So Five Get Lost in Asda. This became our password; Five Get Lost in Car Park, Five Hang Around Outside Converted Granary (see later), Five Have an Adventure in Coleshill (With Lashings of Ginger Beer) and so on. So united we head for the tills, all from different directions as we were picking up forgotten items en route. With rations stowed on the vehicles the convoy moves out to the exit. Well, it is a big car park but we did eventually find the exit. So this is how “Five got lost in Asda” became the password for the weekend.

Off to the accommodation we go, a very nice holiday home with a lovely car park where we sat and waited, and waited, and waited. There was no-one home, no key, and Mike with the wrong phone number in a high-tech handheld iPAQ. After two hours we were getting a bit chilly, so five of us went to wait in our vehicles, after a while the waiting was beginning to wear a bit thin. John suddenly had a thought and made a phone call home – now with the right phone number obtained, send three and fourpence comes to mind. The flowerpot now sitting straight on its base (it had previously been hiding the key), we moved into our impressive accommodation. We quickly unloaded rations and baggage—the safe handling of eggs not having been issued on a DCI yet, John (who was I/C eggs) had done fairly well: out of 12 eggs, 6 arrive at location intact. OK – so we planned scrambled eggs for breakfast. Now too late to cook, we head off to the nearest Chinese for our supper and to the supermarket to get the things we forgot at Asda – it was a big place after all. Butter, sandwich fillings, sugar and, vitally, string. Finding Marmite was OK, but string was more of logistical problem, the local Civ Pop helped us out by giving us a yard or two, so all was well. With an early start on Friday morning I made the sandwiches and prepared everything ready for the morning before going to bed.

FRIDAY: PUBLIC DAY ONE
In the morning Richard got up and cooked breakfast for us all, we put hot water in the flasks for the brew of the day and arrived in the NEC’s Hall 20 in good time to finalise the stand, but with some things forgotten— the sandwiches still in fridge to name but a few. Ant Burrows and Sarah Pattison turned up to assist in manning the stand and a good day was had by all. We were all impressed with the Autoglym Stand with the cleanest car competition, even the toolboxes and jacks were polished and the owners wore white cotton gloves. We didn’t. After an interesting first day, which we thoroughly enjoyed, we headed back to our five-star digs. With Mike as master chef, helped by time reminders from Liz Simpkins. Regrettably, due to the distance theyhad to travel, Dave and Liz had to leave before the feast was served. The remainder—Mike, John, Richard, Eddie, Anthony, Sarah and self, all ate well with good humour and comradeship and retired to our respective pits to sleep the night away.

	Richard Caney with his bonnet shut

SATURDAY: PUBLIC DAY TWO
So here we are it is Saturday. Wayne Davies is turning up today so I have my shorts on and look the part with my Shamag. The downside of this is that there is always someone who had just got off the flight from Dubai and wants to speak Arabic. So the day goes on, old soldiers, airmen and sailors all stop and partake in their tales in the service. Mark O’Neill arrived for his stint on the stand first thing. . Time merged into a blur and there was plenty of opportunity to walk around the huge show. Some say it is better than the Motor Show held at the same halls at the NEC. It is well worth a visit. So we all had a good day, the weather outside was wet so we were glad to be inside. Just after the public left we get a visit from the Rover P4 Club, who wanted to play with the Pinky weapons. One of the guys was an ex-Para and his mate was a Marine. With the GPMG stripped down then put back together, the two ladies with these guys watched to suddenly find my working part (!) flying across the bonnet towards them. No harm done except to my pride to see my working parts fly out the end of the gun. (For the experts amongst you, the retaining pin holding the gas rod failed. Good job it is a deac and not on active service.) With extra mouths to feed—particularly Wayne’s— Sarah and Anthony volunteered to go for a replen of rations. We all eat a hearty tea and the dinner table is cleared so Wayne could photograph all the bits and pieces and radios I had brought up relating to the Pinkie. We talked the night away about Pinkies with Wayne and radios with John. We all turned in, except Wayne who kept photographing – don’t know what time he went to bed.

The new Committee double-act: Membership Secretary Knitted Minkey and Assistant John Butcher	Alan having a spot of trouble with “Frank” and the quicksand and his wandering legs… Photo: Ant Burrows

SUNDAY: PUBLIC DAY THREE
Saw a full day with us enjoying the fun of the last day. The Jaguar Owner’s Club was having their draw for a new Jag XJ and visit to the factory. We (me) raised £20 in our tin for the Army Benevolent Fund. Meanwhile, Things were afoot at the far end of the stand; Richard, Mike and Ant were secretly testing the public. Question: If you raise the bonnet of a 90 and leave it unattended for five minutes, how many people will walk over to take a look inside? (Answer at the end.) John showed the visitor from the Rover P6 Club Arms Drill. Frank (my Pinkie’s “driver”) got caught in quick sand. I slept in public, an authentic army display in my army sleeping bag. Wayne left with the AA after he had measured every inch of my Pinkie well. We said our fond farewells and we all went all went our separate ways home, my thoughts going with Eddie, with his roofless 109 open to the elements and with a lot of miles to do. An excellent weekend by 4 by far. (Maths lesson to be given - if you add up there were 11 of us on the stand over the weekend.

Alan Bucknell